you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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