at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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