Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
