Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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