guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
operation harelip BJ is a go
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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