It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
