WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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