I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
