u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
why do cheetos always look like penises
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
