I cannot find my penis.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
