I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
