I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
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This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
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You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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