Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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