It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She even gives head with a lisp.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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