Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
God gave him joint rollers for hands
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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