honey bunches of taint.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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