But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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