So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
