I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
