took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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