Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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