Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
