this beer tastes like vomit already
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
