Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
