you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
