I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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