i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
