I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize