everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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