There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
