I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
