what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
