i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
