He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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