It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
