Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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