so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
