god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
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