My girlfriend figured out who you are.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
