We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
