is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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