They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
