The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
