billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
