I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
