he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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