her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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