She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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