Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
