I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Semen is not good for contacts.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Randomize
