I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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