Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
