How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
