Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
