those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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