weddingsv make me drug and hornr
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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