nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
