just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
