So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
