I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
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like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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