i just wanna soil my oats bro
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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