Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
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Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
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they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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