is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
