Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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