I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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