Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
